Vengeance of the Dead
Year: 2001
Rated: R (should have been PG)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Nudity: A grandpa watches his granddaughter take a shower (no joke) and she like assaults her breats washing them in the shower, I did not know women caressed their breats for five minutes in a shower, also some hot chick in red panties has hella orgasims hoppin' around like she's getting fucked by a ghost or something, it makes no sense
Gore: ONE FUCKING SCENE, and it wasn't even blood they used, it was MUD


The movie started out with a very Night of the Livng Dead-esque intro; a nice car coming slowly into view traveling toward the camera. At this moment I was thinking, "Yes, a fucking zombie movie. Yes!" Erm, the story goes like this. Every night, Eric, who is visitIng his Grandfather, has dreams and each night he dreams a little more than the night before. I fucking hate movies that just beat around the bush like that. Eric's dreams consist of a monther and her daughter and something that happened to them; how they died. This was just a very fucking stupid version of Stir of Echoes. Stir of Echoes is a masterpiece and an excellent work of cinema, but this movie, Vengeance of the Dead, just makes me cringe at the thought of it.

All of Eric's flashbacks, or dreams, are in black and white and in the very anti-climatic end of the film, they show a group of men breaking into the woman's house, kill her husband, which was the only scene that had any blood in it whatsoever, but it was in black and white and they fucking slung mud at the wall, it was so obvious. Towards the end of the film all the killers are revealed, and Eric keeps waking up in the middle of the night and goes to a few old men's houses and torches them down. They never show any of the men burning or dying, just their house burning down as some very generic video game screams are heard in the background.

I will now pick fun at a few bloopers, blunders, and boners in this stupid movie. The main characters, Eric, outfit changes from scene to scene. Seriously, one scene he's sleeping on the couch in jeans and a tucked in collared shirt, then he wakes up and is outside in kakhi pants, a sweater and a leather jaket. What a faggot. This guy was seriously gay, and he was camera shy whenever he spoke. It's a fucking movie! Also watching this fag buying gasoline between every killing scene was so retarted. And then there's the end of the movie, when he finds out that his grandfather was one of the killers. It's Halloween night and Eric's grandfather is dressed up like a scarecrow tied up to some cross, so Eric just walks over to him and sets him on fire. In fact, none of the people Eric kills even struggle at all, they all just scream as he's pouring the gasoline. Stay the hell away from this movie. At all costs. C.H.U.D. was better than this. And it had no blood, gore or nudity in it. That's saying a lot.

Final Thoughts:

Since this movie received the Shit Rating, do as I say and hide it behind The Goonies, I hope no one is dumb enough to look behind that shit. Also, I played $4.00 to rent this movie on DVD from Hollywood Video, and am very angry about this. I complained to a guy working there and he just gave me a weird look. I said they should seriously get rid of the movie and never purchase any Full Moon titles ever again (Blood Dolls, Prison of the Dead, Vengence of the Dead, Retro Puppet Master, etc..). Also, an interesting little tidbit, I recently read that Full Moon is supposedly going out of business. My take on the matter, burn baby burn. I liked the first five Puppet Master movies, and that Dollman or whatever the fuck his name was made me laugh. But what the fuck was this? This wasn't a horror movie. Is was a sad attempt with an extremely femenine lead role, horrible acting, horrible dialog, one bloody scene, which, remarkable enough, this movie had two screenshots on the back of the cover of the only "gory" scene, and needless, but nice, nonetheless, nudity. Fuck this shit. Fuck it. Literally. Take that tiny little hole in the center of this DVD, and insert your penis into it and literally fuck it. Fuck it until the god damned movie breaks and no one else will have to suffer watching this shit.

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