Camp Blood
Year: 2000
Rated: R
Runtime: 90 minutes
Nudity: Yes, a scene toward the beginning of the film, the girls breasts were beautiful.. and she ran topless from the killer ::sigh:: The other chicks in the movie are just teases
Gore: Yes, some good shots, you could totally tell that dummy was stuffed when the killer got hit by the van, cool though

In essence, this movie is a cross between Friday the 13th, Scream, and a Slipknot music video gone bad. Good thing or no? Erm, yes. The "gore" in this movie made up for it's horrible plot and double-horrible acting. Four teens are going out camping in the woods but before leaving, Name, the main character, reads in the newspaper about a man and woman missing. She begins to think that this camping trip is going to be a bad idea but her boyfriend convinces her otherwise. The constant goddamned bickering between these two fucking characters is unbelievable. What's even more unbelievable is my mom walking downstairs every 3-4 minutes going "I can't believe they just said the F word seventeen times in half a sentence." Also, upon arrival, a stange man warns the group of the cursed Camp Blood. Well shit, was his name Roy for christ's sake, why don't we just rip Friday the 13th off as much as we fucking can. While camping one night, the groups tour guide tells them the story of Camp Blood. Hmm, wasn't that the nickname of Camp Crystal Lake in Friday the 13th? The story goes that one day a man returned home to find his wife cheating with another man, so he killed the two and has been roaming the woods ever since. The next morning, the four wake up to find that their tour guide had been pushed in the campfire the night before! Not knowing their whereabouts, they take off trying to find a way out of the woods.

The lamest part would have to be the Scream wannabe lame-as-hell-extra-double-way-too-much-hyphenated-gay-ass-ending. It turns out the tour guide is the killer, and she's a dyke. She also was the killer from the story before. You see, she caught her girlfriend cheating on her with a man, so she killed them both. Can we say Ellen Degeneres meets ... damnit, can't think of anything. Anyway, who cares. I picked this movie up from Family Video so if you're out-and-about and see nothing else at the movie store and this one catches your eye. Pick it up, it's cheesy, but gory, and funny in a stupid way.

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