C.H.U.D.
Year: 19??
Rated: R (should be PG)
Runtime: 90 minutes
Nudity: No
Gore: NO ONE IS KILLED ONSCREEN


Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. C.H.U.D. aka C.R.U.D. This movie really sucked. Really. The opening scene consisted of a mutated hand coming out from a sewer grabbing a lady's leg and pulling her in. What special effects! No.

When a bums (played by Daniel Stern, tall skinny guy in Home Alone, oddly enough) "underground" friends, who all live in the sewers, disappear at once he calls the captain of police: Botch, to help him with his discoveries.

You could not even start to believe all the jokes my brother and I cracked during this movie. It was like a perfect episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Do not let the cover, or the fact that this has the word Cannibal in the title, fool you. This is pure filth.

Also, one day I was walking along the aisles of K-Mart (no, I wasn't shopping there, I work there) and noticed we had two re-released copies from Anchor Bay of this little piece of work known as C.H.U.D. The next day, as I scanned the Movie Aisle again, I noticed there was only one copy of the movie. This means that SOMEONE BOUGHT THIS MOVIE FROM K-MART, so I took it on myself, and horror fans alike, and hid the remaining copy of C.H.U.D. behind a bunch of Blue's Clues video tapes, where I hope it will remain for the rest of eternity.

Final Thoughts:

Since this movie received the Shit Rating, you must do as I say and go hide this movie behind Dennis the Menace, I hope no one's stupid enough to look behind that.

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