Blood Lake
Year: 1987
Rated: R
Runtime: 90 minutes
Nudity: Haha! No
Gore: Yes, but it's not considered gore, just fake ass ketchupy blood



"Hey brother, you gonna be a butthole this weekend? Or are ya gonna let me drink some beer?" Says the 12 year old snot to his older brother. This is just an example of one of the many stupid-ass lines from this movie. Oh my god! A friend, my brother, and I rented this movie back in the summer of '98 thinking it'd be filled with titty and gore. OK, so the joke's on us! But seriously though, we came up with the conclusion that, when filmmakers are writing and later directing these piece of shit stinkhola's, they are actually proud to be in the horror genre and proud of their films! What the hell were they thinking.

Opening Scene:
Shadow is cast on brick wall, it nears a man who is gardening. A gardening tool is seen in the man's hand who casts the shadow on the wall. The man gardening turns around.
"Hey man, I just work here...!"
Killer: "That's good enough for me."
Knife is JABBED forward in one quick motion. The man working at this place falls over, with a small gardening knife in his stomach, dead.

Umm, the script for Executions On Butt Row was better than this. Fine I'll get to the story for those who care, or who plan on renting (picks up rock and throws at reader) this movie.

Six teenagers, two being 12, go to one of the teens cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway to, nonetheless, get drunk and laid. But do they in the entire span of the movie? No. This is the classic setup to too many horror movies. And this one failed in so many ways. I knew that there was no torture worse than being forced to watch this movie. As the killer, who was an almost mirrored image of Blue's Traveler's singer, you know, the big fat dude, tied two of the teenagers to a tree as if he was going to torture them, but then just stabbed them both once in the stomach, killing them instantly; I got the image in my head of walking into the kitchen of my house, and slowly sliding my penis into the pencil sharpener in our food pantry, and grinding away at the flesh covering the head of my penis. Dude, seriously. This movie fucking stunk. I don't know what to say. I am currently searching for contact addresses for anyone and everyone involved in this movie so you can e-mail/snail mail them and tell them how much they suck.

Final Thoughts:

Since this movie received the Shit Rating, you must do as I say and go hide this movie behind City Slickers 2, I hope no one's stupid enough to look behind that.

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